January 9, 2015

So, kind of like ArchaeoBlog then

Filed under: Humor — acagle @ 12:04 pm

How Football Sounds To People That Don’t Care.

Okay. . . .

Firstly, imagine every time within a day that football is mentioned by someone else. Secondly, replace it with something that you don’t want to hear about every day. Say… Archaeology.

Excuse me?

So, you awaken to the clock radio. It’s 7AM. Just as you awaken, it’s time for the news and archaeology already. Not news and other historical investigations, like library restorations or museum openings (unless there’s another event happening), but just the news and archaelogy. Malaysian plane is still missing. Pistorius is still on trial. New dig announced in Giza. Ancient Mayan temple discovered. Exciting stuff.

Darn right it is.

Even when it isn’t archaeology season, the media follow noted archaeologists. They drive fast cars, date beautiful women, advertise fragrances, and sometimes they go to nightclubs and act in the worst possible way.

Well, one out of four isn’t bad, is it?

Drive past a huge billboard with a black and white picture of a rakishly handsome archaeologist draped over an impossibly beautiful woman. He’s winking at you. Trowel in his left hand, supermodel in the right. Jurassic, by Calvin Klein.

No, that would be paleontologists, you wanker.

You once met a disagreeable chap who threatened to beat you up because you didn’t watch the archaeology. “Not a late paleolithic era supporter are you? Think you’re better than me? I’ll have you, you scrawny tw*t!”

Actually, in most departments these days just substitute “post-colonialist theory supporter” and it’s probably pretty accurate. . . . .

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