ArchaeoBlog

September 8, 2012

Ha.

Filed under: Humor — acagle @ 3:13 pm

Penkava: Columnists must be forward-thinkers

Being a fan of archaeology and anthropology, when I chanced upon an obscure article in the periodical “The New American Archaeologist Journal” about a strange Indian tribe I had never heard of, my interest was piqued. The tribe’s name was “Sionilli” (pronounced “see-oh-knèe -lee”) and evidently it inhabited our general area.

Have you ever heard of them? Me neither.

Well, there’s this Egyptian professor named Leahcim Avaknep who has been digging here lately. It’s hard to figure out why an Egyptian archaeologist is rummaging around in the Great Midwest. Perhaps he ran out of ancient stuff to discover in Egypt. That, or it’s too hard to get a Chicago-style hot dog in Cairo.

Had me going for a while. . . . .

August 16, 2012

Nerd humor

Filed under: Humor — acagle @ 3:31 pm

Just to further the geekitudinal virosity of the video:

I hope NASA itself didn’t make that cuz it would probably have cost $17 million. . . . .

July 25, 2012

Embarrassing find of … er … a “marital aid” thought to be fungus

Filed under: China, Humor, Modern artifacts — ArchaeoFriend @ 3:19 pm

sex toy thought to be fungus

Proving yet again that fact can be stranger than fiction.  (Or if this is fiction, someone has a WICKED sense of humor).  A friend of mine (a primatologist) sent me a link to this news story about a village in China (Liucunbu, near Xian) where an artifact from a well turned out to be a naughty sex toy.  I thought this might be a prank story, but ABC picked it up, so that lends credibility to the story in my mind.  You could say that the mistaken fungus Ganoderma lucidum has gone “VIRAL”.  The whole thing is nicely written with double-entendres, however, such as this short quote:

Villagers from Liucunbu, a rural community outside western Chinese city of Xi’an, encountered the sex toy while drilling a new well shaft. Hard-pressed to identify the flexible, fungi-like object, perplexed residents alerted the local news station, which immediately sent reporter Yunfeng Ye to the scene.

[....]  The report opens with Ye proclaiming the discovery of the mysterious object, the likes of which “not even an 80-year-old local man has seen.” Villagers crouch around the object, floating innocently in a water-filled bucket. “It has an eye and a nose, but we don’t know what it is,” says a man who was among the drillers who discovered the sex toy.

Describing the object’s qualities in explicit detail [....]

Oh, my, someone had fun writing that story.  Xian is much more famous (in my mind) for the tomb of Qin Shi Huang Di. 

terra cotta warriors

Legend has it that the actual tomb of the emporer has a map of his empire with his body at the center.  Above him are the stars of his realm, represented by pearls in the tomb’s ceiling.  Scarily enough, the map also contains 100 rivers of his empire, created with mercury in the floor of the tomb.  I don’t think I want to be the one to excavate that tomb.

qin shi huang di

July 5, 2012

Heh

Filed under: Humor — acagle @ 7:06 pm

Erotic cave art blamed for archaeologist’s erection during lecture

June 24, 2012

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull

Filed under: Humor, Indiana Jones — acagle @ 10:27 am

Review by Red Letter Media.

I think it’s pretty spot on (especially the first bit of Part 2!), with lots of correlations with previous films, some I’d noticed, others I hadn’t. Also take note of something else I hadn’t realized until someone else mentioned it: the number of bad guys Indy kills in earlier movies compared to Crystal Skull. But it’s an intelligent review overall.

Of course, it’s also incredibly foul in spots, so VIEWER WARNING.

UPDATE: One item, perhaps a bit of Spielbergian Easter Egging: the review notes that the ‘treasure house’ seemed kind of ripped off of the National Treasure movies, but I noticed in the center of the room in one or two shots what looked like a camel with a man and woman riding on top of it. That reminded me of The Mummy, which also had a big treasure room. Yes?

June 4, 2012

Why the Internet was invented

Filed under: Historic, Humor — acagle @ 3:09 pm

See, when I was a teenager way back in the ’70s and conversation turned to What The Future Would Be Like, I imagined computers would be kinda like HAL-9000 and we’d all be doing really important and interesting things with them, like ‘visi-phoning’ (check) and making air car reservations, and getting up-to-the-minute satellite images from wherever you were (almost check).

What do we get instead?

I was looking at the ten dollar bill the other day.. and im like RAWR.

March 29, 2012

Chick archaeologist who is not Lara Croft

Filed under: Humor, Media, Pop culture — acagle @ 7:24 pm

‘RiGBY the Barbarian’ Webcomic Casts a Wisecracking Archaeologist as the Chosen One

In Lee Leslie’s webcomic RiGBY the Barbarian, an archaeology student finds herself mystically transported to a land she’s fated to defend from an evil wizard, much to the shock of the people she’s supposed to save.

At the beginning of the comic, Rigby is still in the modern world, but she’s already quite frustrated men. She’s out on an archaeological dig, but her professor leaves all the Indiana Jones work to the boys, while she’s stuck doing all the paperwork. When she decides to do a little extra-curricular exploration, she stumbles across a very dead king and a very large sword. But as soon she touches the blade, she’s sent to an alternate universe, one where dead warriors walk and everyone rides around on dinosaurs.

I probably won’t be following it, but here it is.

December 24, 2011

Indiana Jones and the Policy of No Refunds

Filed under: Humor, Indiana Jones, Media, Pop culture — acagle @ 8:18 pm

Well, not really. Plinkett’s review of Crystal Skull. Language warning. Fairly crude. Well, not exactly SFW. Or young children. But mostly spot on and funny.

December 18, 2011

“I’m amazed, O wall, that you have not fallen in ruins, you who support the tediousness of so many writers.”

Filed under: Humor — acagle @ 4:49 pm

Not the Interwebs: 10 Pieces of Nasty Ancient Graffitti – Now Translated!

10 Pieces of Nasty Ancient Graffitti – Now Translated!People have been making graffiti since there was writing — everywhere we go we find messages lost in time. Some of these ancient writings give us priceless insight into lost civilizations. Other pieces, though, just give us big lumps of awesome.

And that’s not the half of it. There are umpteen thousand little scribbled images of a, errrr, prurient nature, that never make it into the textbooks.

No sources in the article, but kind of fun.

December 7, 2011

And from the ancient literature files (also “I could spank your bottom with the section on split infinitives!”)

Filed under: Humor, Pop culture — acagle @ 8:43 pm

The Odysnooki: A Homeric Recounting of Jersey Shore, Season 4

Tell us the tale, oh MTV, the tale of your Jersey Shore,
Of the brave sons, and of the oft-shrieking daughters,
With racks most impressive and spray tans liberally applied.
Leave us no longer in need, oh MTV, a subsidiary corporation of Viacom,
For some mad wicked drama on a slow Thursday night,
As our intelligence down the shitter goes.

Heh. I don’t even watch it. . . . .

Well, okay, a few more odd links:
Kitten album covers

Inside the Swansea Amazon fulfillment center. See any. . . .arks?

Flash, just do the dishes.

Cyber-sex in queen’s English (SFW)

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